I love you because you inspire me. You make me feel like life is worth living. That it's not just about waking up and going to work and then going to sleep again. Life is about passion and goals, about dreams that you want to accomplish. You taught me that no matter what kinda lemons, limes or other citric fruits life throws in your way, you should always turn them into a nice fruity cocktail. 'Giving up' is never in your dictionary. When shit happens, you just come out of it stronger. You make me want to pick myself up off the ground and strut my stuff.

I love you because you are so darn cute. Seriously, you are. And I don't mean this in a 'Hello Kitty' way. You're so endearing. Everything about you. Your cute British accent. The way you play with your hair. The way you scrunch your face up and laugh when I say something stupid. The way you always know how to say the right things. You have such kind eyes and the brightest smile.

I love you because you make me feel safe. I don't know what it is about you, or how to explain 'safe'. I don't think many people even knows what it means. All I know is that when I'm with you, I feel like I can let my guard down. Those walls I was building midway all came down like a broken game of UNO Stacko. God knows my insecurities are enough to make Katy Perry feel like she needs a boob enhancement. But when I'm with you, I actually feel beautiful, inside and out. I feel like I can put you in a room with naked Victoria's Secret models, and you would still be faithful. Ok maybe that was a lousy metaphor, but you get the point. And I haven't felt this way in a long time. I haven't felt like I am enough for a guy. For someone to want me enough. But you make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world (sorry Rihanna).

I love you because we never fight. I know how some couples insist that fighting is good for the relationship. That it makes it stronger and helps you to understand each other better. But also, when fights happen, angry words come out that you can never take back. And these things cause scars. It helps that I'm a non-confrontational person in general, but also, I can't find anything to fight about with you. I mean, I'm sure we do things to annoy each other sometimes, but it's never enough to fight about. I guess at the end of the day, when you really love someone, it's not about who's wrong or right. It's about understanding the situation you two are in, and fixing the problem before it leads to a bigger one. Compromise.

I love you because you're my equal. For once, with a guy, I don't feel like the lesser of two evils. You know what I mean? In the past, when I fell in love, I fell head over heels. Not to say that I'm not head over heels now, because God knows how crazy I am over you. But in the past, it was an obsession, and I placed them on a pedestal - they were way up there, while I'm way down here. And that is not true love, because true love should not be overflowing with imbalance and discrepancy. But you and I, we're equals. You're the yin to my yang.

And last but not least, I love you because you're my best friend. I'm jealous of people who've had one best friend their entire life. I've never had that. My best friends change over time. Some grew apart, some I didn't even like, and some just ended up broken and unfixable. That's the thing about people - they never stay. But now, I can finally call someone my 'best friend' without worrying that he's gonna go to lunch with the other popular kid from the other class and forgot that I ever existed. You're here to stay. I'm in love with my best friend. And he's here to stay.

I have loved before, but it didn't feel like this.
I have kissed before, but it didn't burn me alive.

I think it's time for me to grow up. And growing up means letting go.

Letting go of all the anger you have inside - let it out, scream, cry, whatever. Letting go of all your high school insecurities and baggage - that phase of your life is over. Letting go of society's expectations and cynicism - it just makes life more complicated than it already it. Letting go of heartbreak and pain - there's no point crying over spilled milk.

After all, holding on to something just means that it is also holding you back. In order to move forward, you let go. It's a scary concept. But it works. Or at least it's supposed to. I wouldn't know. I've never tried. I hoard emotions. I'm an emotional-hoarder.

I think it's also time to let go of things that you know cannot be fixed. I've been harboring this daydream for the longest time now. I think it's time to accept the fact that some things, once lost, can never be fixed. It's over. Things will never go back to how it was again. And if I can find it in me to finally just let.it.go, a part of me would just feel so much lighter.

But still, I miss all the late night conversations we used to have on MSN till 5am about nothing at all. Just typing nonsense and talking about everything under the sun. I just need a friend.

I know I said this all before, but.... haha. It's so stupid, because I said this all before. I often give myself very good advice, too bad I seldom take it.

My stint here wasn't for long, but I've learnt alot, and I realise that it was the perfect place to also make use of all my past experience.

I have learned about in my 3 years in this industry. And it was great working in a small company where you have to pretty much do everything. I mean, initially it was torture, being thrown out there to fend for yourself. But it really makes you stronger. Helps you to learn. And on hindsight it was good for me, and I'm grateful for the experience.

I've moved on to bigger things now! Can't say for sure if its necessary 'better' things.... but definitely greater. I'm excited for all the projects that are up and coming! I'm excited at the opportunity to meet some international artistes and attend international events!

I grew up watching MTV. And even now, I'm a crazy 'Jersey Shore' fan! MTV is in me! And now to be able to be part of this huge empire is mindblowing! I can finally say that I found my place!

I have the perfect job, the perfect boyfriend, the perfect family. My life is perfect.

We have about 2 to 3 years to start preparing for the rest of our lives. When I think about it, 3 years seems pretty far away. And yet, when I really really think about it, just the mere thought of being able to share our lives together in just 3 years time makes me want to light fireworks in the skies.

We're gonna have a hard time sooner or later. We're gonna have to really slog it out if we want to continue working for passion and not money. This industry is not very ideal for starting a family. But we'll get through it. I'm sure we will. We'll scrimp and we'll save. But eventually, we'll get what we want. We'll have our nice little home, little children running around, and perhaps one day, just as you wish, we could go back to England and spend the rest of our lives in your hometown. I'd do it, baby. Anything for you.

We'll get through the worst of it. And even the worst can't possibly be that bad. As long as we stand by each other, we're indestructible. We will not let anything get in the way. Success or not, money or not, riches or not, I just need you. And I'm dedicating my life to that. Everything I do now will be for us, and our future.

In 2 years, you'll be out of school. Hopefully, I would have gained something in this industry by then. Maybe you would have already become a successful author and writer!

So many maybes, so many things we cannot be sure about. One thing I can be sure of though, is that whether it is 3 years, 30 years, or 300 years, I will never stop loving you. And I look forward to the day when people start calling me 'Mrs Holder'!

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me, girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Random pictures taken at my company's Lantern's Day office party:

Random pictures taken at our 5-day shoot for a documentary depicting the heritage of Singapore:

******************

I think we're friends now. Are we? I need to put in more effort. That's for sure.

I just want you to know that, even if we never talk again, please remember that I am forever changed by who you are and what you meant to me.

The more I think about it, the more I think this is complete and utter bullshit. Everyone in a production is just as important in his or her own way. If you think that the only people that are important are the director and the director of photography, then you are greatly deluded, and not to mention completely unappreciative and oblivious.

A good director will understand how important each and every individual is on set. Without one or the other, the production is crippled. Try having an entire production without your supporting crew. Just try. Try being a director on your own without having good support from your assistant director or your producers. Try being a director of photography on your own without the support of your camera assistant or grips. Go on I dare you.

Not recognizing the usefulness of your supporting crew makes you a bad director. I don't care how good your technical skills are. It's one thing to be unappreciated. But it's another thing to be completely disregarded and put down. What happened to teamwork? There's a reason why it's called a 'production crew'. You need every single person and every single person contributes. If you think we're so disposable, then I would like to see you gather a crew that has absolutely no chemisty and who can't work together. With your experience level and so-called 'knowledge' of the industry, your bimbotic statement shocks me. I am appalled and insulted.

There's so many things I love about my job. So many things I can't bear to leave behind. But it's moment like these and makes me wonder if everything is worth it. Moments like these that makes me wanna give up and change industries. I'm willing to accept the fact that this industry pays peanuts. The fact that we are underpaid and overworked. I can take the physical exhaustion, because after all, at the end of the day, we produce a good video and it's a real blast working with crew. But in this case, not only am I getting paid peanuts, I am apparently disposable. Where's the justice in this?

I can sacrifice a low salary for the sake of passion, but I'm not willing to sacrifice dignity and integrity. And everyone around me knows I work my ass off. I deserve more credit than this.

So, accompany you to the toilet? Fuck you. You can go yourself.

Someone once told me that I don't know what love is.

Maybe that's true. Perhaps I don't know what love is, but who does right? Haha! However, I do know that I can't stop thinking about you. You're on my mind every single second of the day. When I think of you, I feel happy, and blessed, like my entire life just fell into place. When I'm with you, I just wanna grab you and kiss you till your lips go numb. When I see your name on my phone, I smile, doesn't even matter what the text or call is about.

When I talk to you, I feel like I can say anything and be myself - bad manners, uncouth, childishness and all - and you would not judge me, but love me in spite of my flaws. When I think about our future, I can't wait to grow up and start a family. When I think about our future, I see security, peace, happiness and compromise. When I think about marrying you, I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders. When I think about having your children, I can't imagine any other thing I would rather do.

When I think about us, I am overwhelmed by how I would do just about anything for you. Yes, even die (but let's not go overboard here). When I think about us, I know that I have everything I could ever need in life. When I think about living my life without you, I can't breathe.

It's a scary thought - how one person can determine what you're feeling.

I know compared to many other 'long-achievement award' couples out there, we really haven't been together for long. But within these short few months, I've been happier than my entire life put together. You've changed me totally and completely, and I'm just happy to be given the chance to be part of your life. For the first time in my life, I finally found someone who is giving me unconditional love. A kind of love that knows no bounds, that is sacrificial, compromising, calming, mature and, best of all, respectful.

I've always been the girl who falls in love too easily and too fast. The girl who becomes too self-sacrificial. But I finally found someone who compliments me. You do not take advantage of my flaws, and yet you appreciate my good points. I don't think I will ever be able to find someone else.

I'm so glad I'm over all those high-school relationship dramas. This is it. When I look at you, I'm looking at a happily ever after.

Happy 8 months baby!

(Queuing to get into the new H&M!)

I think when people see how we are when we are alone and in private, they would get so disgusted by how sickeningly mushy and sweet we are. But I don't care. I want everyday of my life with you to be like this - never-ending sweet nothings, non-stop kisses, cuddles and hugs, gazing endlessly into each other's eyes.

'Cause you're my lobster.

They say in this world, nothing lasts forever
But I don’t believe that is true
Cause the way that I feel
When we're together
I know that’s the way, I'll always feel for you

It’s gonna take more than a lifetime
To give you all the love
All the love I feel for you tonight

Everytime I feel like I can't breathe, when work gets a little too much for me to handle, I think about you, I think about us, and I feel better. Because I know that everything I work for now is for our future. I can slog now. Work till my guts come out. But I know that with all the hard work, I'm helping to build us a future together. And nothing gives me more strength than that.

And I love you for being so patient with me. Through trials and tribulations you've got my back. Thank you for telling me everyday that you love me. That you think I'm awesome. That you're proud of me. Thank you for tolerating my little tantrums, my whining, my clingyness and my need for attention. Most importantly, thank you for seeing me for exactly who I am, yet loving me in spite of my many flaws.

And in return, I will give you all of me. I've never loved someone as much as I love you, and I've never needed someone as much as I need you. I realize now that all my life experiences were just little bumps on my way to meeting you. And I don't need anything but you. Like I told you, I know we're gonna have the most perfect life together. Not because we're gonna be super rich and famous, but simply because we're soulmates, and we love each other. I don't need money, or huge diamonds. Ok, maybe just ONE giant diamond when you propose to me someday. I promise I'll say 'yes', and I promise you won't have to get me another diamond ever again!

They say behind every successful man, is a woman. One day, when you become a bestselling, award-winning writer, I will be your little wife who waits for you at home everyday. I'll always make sure that you have a full belly. When you come back home at the end of the day, I'll rub your feet and massage your back. I'll give you as many kids as you want. I'll clean the house and make sure that you'll always have the most perfect palace to come home to. I'll live the rest of my life to serve you. And you know what, that would be the most perfect life I could ever have.

I never knew that love could be so easy. But it is. At least for us. I don't know what it is. We can't find anything to fight about, and our great deal of compromise touches me. I think it stems from the fact that we love each other so much and we're willing to do anything to keep us together. And I appreciate how simple and pure our relationship is. There are no complications, no discrepancies. Just 2 people who love each other and wants to spend time with each other. We don't need material things to be happy. We're happy just staring into each others' eyes.

And I promise you this will never change. I love you now. In 5 months, I will love you. In 5 years, I will love you. When I'm 70 and sitting on our balcony, I will still be loving you with every single cell in me.

You're mine. Forever and ever. And I know you obviously don't understand Chinese, but this song is for you, so....... go figure it out!