May 9, 2012

• Sliced.

  

  Those who have been following me on twitter or facebook knows how I've recently gotten myself into a health scare.

  About late last year, I realised a lump developing under my right jaw, below my ear. I ignored it for the longest time, and didn't really tell anybody about it either. I could only feel it there when I occasionally pressed down on the area when showering or perhaps applying moisturizer. It didn't hurt, neither did it cause any kind of discomfort. I left it there thinking it would go away.

  However, early this year, I realised the lump starting to grow bigger. It grew to a size where it started protruding out of my skin. Still, it did not bother me because it didn't hurt. I only started worrying when I actually had friends and family coming up to me and asking me about it because they could see it. I told them it was just a swollen lymph node, no biggie. Soon though, curiosity got the better of me and I turned to Google. The thing about Google is that it can either rest your nerves, or send you into full-fledged panic mode. I was a victim of the latter. I typed all my symptoms into the search engine and waited for the word 'cancer' to appear. Lo and behold, it did.

  Google told me that swollen lymph nodes are no problem. Many people get it several times in life, and sometimes you don't even notice them because they come and go. However, if the lymph node does not go away after 2 weeks, or worse, it appears to be growing bigger, it may be a sign of an underlying disease. An swollen lymph node under the jaw that had been growing for more than 2 months might suggest a sort of cancer of the lymph node.

  Needless to say, I spent many sleepless nights after that mentally drafting my will and thinking of all the things I would like to say to my loved ones before I died. Yes, I tend to be a little melodramatic. But it helps me to prepare for the worse. I finally mustered up enough courage to go visit the doctor, and as expected, was after that referred to a specialist at the hospital's ENT department. With sweaty palms and a quickening heart rate, I went for the check up and was told by the senior consultant that the lump is most probably a sebaceous cyst. *cue choirs of singing angels*

  My options then was to leave the lump alone and pray it goes away, or have surgery to remove it and send it out for a biopsy to check if its benign or malignant. I chose to allow them to slice my neck open and take the troublemaker out.

  So I went for surgery on Monday. I was nervous. I know compared to many other people out there who has been through much worse, this minor surgery is nothing. But I was scared. I have never had any kind of surgery before (actually I had lasik surgery, but I don't think that counts), I have never even broken any kind of bone before! The only real kind of physical pain I've been through were when getting my tattoos, or perhaps the heart wrenching tear in my heart when I found out the boy I used to love was cheating on me... but I digress.

  I chose to be put under general anesthesia and I'm glad I made that choice. When the surgery was over, I opened my eyes and surprisingly, there was little to no pain at all. It is now day 3 post-operation and I am recovering well. My wound is healing perfectly and I am not experiencing any kind of discomfort.

  My Mum has been taking extremely good care of me - making sure my wound is coated with ointment and that I am eating all the right foods. I have also noticed her coming into my room in the middle of the night while I'm sleeping just to make sure that I'm sleeping in the right positions and not compromising the stitches. Nothing will help you heal better and faster than a mother's pure love.

  I also have a wonderful boyfriend who checks in on me and was there with me before and after the surgery. All the wonderful encouragements and assurances just helped make the experience so much less terrifying.

  And also all my family's heartfelt prayers were heard and answered. I cannot thank God more for what He has done for me.

  My test results aren't out yet. I still have to be back in the hospital next Tuesday to remove my stitches and also to get my biopsy results. I'm not nervous anymore. I have true and utmost faith that I will be all right and that I will live to see my children have more children. Praise Jesus!

  • 4:25 am
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