February 25, 2014

  • Poison

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    Today I went through old tweets just out of curiosity, and to see how much I have changed. I discovered a part of me I don't even recognize anymore. Damn I used to be passive aggressive. Not only that, I was delusional and downright irritating. It is a no wonder you couldn't stand me.

    That being said, I cannot imagine the amount of hate we used to have for each other. The kinds of passive aggressive tweets we exchanged. Reading it today rekindled old pains. How did we use to be so toxic?

    Till this day I wonder - did you really hate me that much back then?

    When I look back at the words I allowed myself to say to you, and the mistakes that I thought were more than okay to be making, I feel overwhelmed with embarrassment and regret. I just want to go back and wipe those ugly moments from your memory. There are only so many fights, so many words we don’t really mean hurled at each other before we both have to look in the mirror and say, “Okay, this isn’t working.”

    I hope you understand that I will always care for you, in the way one might a distant friend you’ve lost touch with but still long to laugh with every so often. And I hope you’re well. I hope you’re living life the way you wanted to, and have gained enough perspective to know, as I know, that some things don’t have to last forever to have value.