December 11, 2013
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Panic Attacks
In just one sentence, you summed up everything I was feeling so swiftly.
For years I have been battling with anxiety and panic attacks. I don't remember when it first happened. I don't remember what caused it. I only remember that feeling of having your heart torn out while your chest throbs with a shooting pain, gasping for air in between sobs, and slowly sinking to your feet while you feel the room close in on you. You're trapped and all you can do is try to calm down.
I have never been diagnosed. My family tends to practise subtlety when it comes to physical ailments and calamities. In fact, no one knows about my panic attacks. No one but you.
I used to wonder why I have them. I'm not particularly distressed or feeling pressurized in any way. I lead a happy, normal life and I should not be breaking down midday trying to catch my breath. What was plaguing me?
And you summed it up beautifully - I just have too many emotions, but with no outlet of release.
And just like that, I understand.
