April 17, 2013

  • Mid-twenties

    I celebrated my 25th birthday a couple weekends ago.

    Last weekend, we walked around town and I was asked to fill up a mailing list for a company. On the form, under the age category, 2 of the selections were - 18-24 and 25-30. I paused for a second before realizing which box I was supposed to tick.

    I am now in a whole new checkbox. 

    No longer in my early twenties. No longer 18-24. I am a big fat ugly 25. Quarter life crisis is here and banging on my door. 

    Ever since I hit 21, I have not enjoyed a single birthday. I don't mean I don't enjoy my day. I mean, I don't enjoy the birthday. One more year closer to death. Hurray? I feel like I've hit 25, but haven't done much with my life yet. I shouldn't be feeling this way though. I have a wonderful family and a beautiful boyfriend who promises me a bright future. I just keep feeling like I'm running out of time. 25 years old - no job I fancy, not enough money in the bank, so many places I have yet to go to, no ring on my finger. Depressing, really. 

    On the bright side, I spent my 25th with the people I love the most.

    And on a lighter note, my baby celebrated his 26th birthday!

    The future is bright for us! I can't wait to see what happens!!

April 11, 2013

  • Nothing's gonna change my love for you.

     

    If I had to live my life without you near me
    The days would all be empty
    The nights would seem so long

    With you I see forever, oh, so clearly
    I might have been in love before
    But it never felt this strong

    Our dreams are young and we both know
    They'll take us where we want to go
    Hold me now, touch me now
    I don't want to live without you

    If the road ahead is not so easy
    Our love will lead the way for us
    Like a guiding star

    I'll be there for you if you should need me
    You don't have to change a thing
    I love you just the way you are


    So come with me and share the view
    I'll help you see forever too
    Hold me now, touch me now
    I don't want to live without you

    Nothing's gonna change my love for you
    You oughta know by now how much I love you
    One thing you can be sure of
    I'll never ask for more than your love


    Nothing's gonna change my love for you
    You oughta know by now how much I love you
    The world may change my whole life through
    But nothing's gonna change my love for you

March 29, 2013

  • Time for miracles.

    I liken my current job to a 'Chris Brown-Rihanna' kind of abusive relationship. The job being Chris Brown, and me being Rihanna - 

     
    You meet for the first time, and you're quite apprehensive, but then you fall head over heels in love with him. You have so much hopes and dreams for your relationship and immediately, you are willing to invest 110%. You work hard. You do. You give and you give. Then one day, he hits you. 
     
    And you think it's just a setback. You forgive him and you go back. But then he hits you again. And again. And again. Very soon, you're covered in bruises and the whole world can see. But you love him. So you go back. You keep going back. And you keep telling yourself that things will change, that eventually he will stop hitting you and you will live happily ever after. But then he hits you again.
     
    Unlike Rihanna though, you've finally had enough. You realise that he's never gonna change. For as long as you stay by his side, dependent on him, he will keep taking advantage, and he will keep beating you to the ground, making you feel worthless and small. Is he worth it? You question. 
     
    If he can't change, then maybe it's time you make the move. Maybe it's time to take yourself out of the equation. You have too much self-worth. You're young and capable. Surely you can find someone else out there who appreciates you and deserves you, and will treat you better? You don't know. You can only hope, and take that gamble. 
     
    So what do you do? 
     
    Sigh. Time to go job-hunting. 
     
     
    (This post is a metaphor about my job. I am NOT in an abusive relationship with my boyfriend.)

March 13, 2013

  • Fixing a broken heart

     

    He knows exactly how to cheer me up when I'm down. 

     

    You really know where to start
    Fixing a broken heart
    You really know what to do
    Your emotional tools can cure any fool
    Whose dreams are falling apart
    Fixing a broken heart

March 4, 2013

March 3, 2013

February 26, 2013

  • Tasha

     

    Happy birthday baby girl. You would've been 16 years old this year. Not a day goes by where I don't think about you. I miss you everyday. Life just has't been the same with you gone. When you left, you took a part of my with you that can never be replaced. You were my best friend. 

    I hope you're happy wherever you are now. And wait for me. We'll all be reunited again some day. I love you.

January 23, 2013

  • 2012

    This is a delayed post, considering the fact that it's already mid-January 2013. I think I had a pretty awesome year - I did a lot. Probably one of the most fulfilling years of my life. I usually get very melancholic and emotional during the end/start of every year. Somehow I would look back on the year and feel like I've achieved nothing. But 2012 is one of those years where I look back and don't even know where to start because it was so enriching.

    As far as personal life goes, I'm still with Kane (or as my colleagues call him: 'boyfriend of the year'). Our relationship is as good as it was when it first began. People say after the first 7 months, you get past the honeymoon stage. However, 2 years into the relationship and I still think Kane and I are in the honeymoon phase. I love him more and more everyday, and I think it's safe to say that he feels the same. I love that kid so much!


    2012 was also the year of health scares. 2012 also marks my very first time in surgery. Long story short - I had a lump on the side of my neck that needed medical attention. I went under the knife to remove the lump for a biopsy. Everything turned out fine and I'm as healthy as a horse!

    My Dad, on the other hand, was not as lucky. He also went under the knife mid-2012 to remove a lump in his throat. What was supposed to be a minor surgery, turned into a punctured lung. Till this day, we're not sure how that happened. All I know is that, that was probably one of the scariest and worst moments of my life. To see someone you love so much, someone who has been your hero and your rock your entire life lying helpless in bed with an oxygen tube up his nose was devastating. The heartbreak that I felt was earth-shattering. One thing lead to another and the doctors always came back to us with bad news. All I could do was stay strong for my Mum, but I spent so many nights soaking my pillow in tears. Praise Jesus that he eventually recovered. Praise God.

    2012 also saw me getting a couple of new tattoos. My current tattoo count is 3. But it will definitely be increasing!

    2012 was also the year where Kane and I were both published in Herworld magazine. Those were fun times, and definitely something to look back on when we're old!

    On to work.... I got to say that I had a fabulous time. There are times when the work was indeed very trying and pressurizing. But in general, I think I learned and achieved so much. For the very first time in my life, I produced an entire show. This show even got picked up for a second season! That in itself is amazing. And late last year, I was also given a chance to travel to Shanghai by myself to produce an entire 30min program on my own. The show is going on air this Sunday! And of course, my job has given me the extra perk of meeting tonnes of celebrities, which I am grateful for. It's little things like these that makes the job somewhat more bearable.

    And of course, World Stage. Ahhh.... how can anyone forget an experience like that? It was 5 days of zero sleep in KL. Running around like crazy! But at the end of the day, to see that the entire event was so well-received and attended by tens of thousands of people was just amazing. I'm just grateful to be able to be a part of something as big as this. The amount of experience I have gained is priceless. I wouldn't trade this for anything in the world!

     

    My makeup venture has also been good. I've been getting regular jobs at least once a week and I'm happy with the progress I've been making, as well as the little extra cash I can earn on the side. And on a sidenote, in 2012, I also set up my very own makeup blog - http://makeupyrmind.wordpress.com/I think I still have a lot to learn though, and I still have a lot of experience to gain. I'm hoping this makeup venture can continue on in 2013. Here are some of the makeup jobs I did this year:

    2012 has been an incredible ride. There were a couple of humps and bumps along the way, but in general, I have nothing but praise for such an awesome year! Obviously, there were times where I cried a lot, but I don't think we should dwell on the negative. Let's put it this way - whatever happened, happened for a reason. I can choose to be bitter about it, or I can learn from it and move on. That goes the same for people who I've chosen to eliminate from my life. And I think I did a lot of that in 2012. 

    As for 2013, I can only remain hopeful. I don't see how bad it could be, so I believe that it will be even more kickass! And I hope all of you will have an awesome 2013 too! Here's to a new year with new hopes and dreams!

January 15, 2013

  • Amore.

     

    I love how every time you leave, my sheets smell like you. 
    I'm addicted to you.

    heart