|
| I'll be leaving for Beijing + Shanghai tonight!! Gonna head to the airport in about half an hour!
I'll be back next Tuesday. So until then, feel free to flood my Facebook wall! However, I will not be able to reply to any Facebook posts etc. or tweets on Twitter. Due to the Great Firewall of China, Twitter, Facebook, Youtube etc. are all blocked in China.  I know right.
Anyway, I'll be bringing my Blackberry over to CheenaTown, so you guys still can text me to keep me up to date on all the happenings in Singapore (i.e. who got voted off Singapore Idol). I may or may not reply. Depends.
So I'll be gone for 8 days! Try not to miss me too much! But just in case you do, here's a big-assed photo of myself to help tide you through this difficult time:
 HAHAHA!! Bye! | | |
|  I <3 Pixie Lott! Everyone should go listen to her album. I got your emails You just don’t get females now, do you? What’s in the heart Is not in your head, anywhere Mate, you’re too late And you weren’t worth the wait now, were you? It’s out of my hands Since you blew your last chance when you played me You’ll have to cry me out You’ll have to cry me out The tears that will fall Mean nothing at all It’s time to get over yourself Baby, you ain’t all that Baby, there’s no way back You can keep talking But baby, I’m walking away When I found out how you messed me about I was broken Back then I believed you Now, I don’t need you no more The pic on your phone proves you weren’t alone She was with you Now, I couldn’t care about who, what or where We’re through You’ll have to cry me out You’ll have to cry me out The tears that will fall Mean nothing at all It’s time to get over yourself Baby, you ain’t all that Baby, there’s no way back You can keep talking But baby, I’m walking away Gonna have to cry me out Gonna have to cry me out Boy, there ain’t no doubt Gonna have to cry me out Won’t hurt a little bit Boy, better get used to it You can keep talking But, baby, I’m walking away You’ll have to cry me out You’ll have to cry me out The tears that will fall Mean nothing at all It’s time to get over yourself Baby, you ain’t all that Baby, there’s no way back You can keep talking But baby, I’m walking away | | |
| Everyone, meet Chuck - the new love of my life... 
Yes. Chuck is my new Blackberry Curve and I love him oh-so-much!! And yes, you guessed it! He is named after the famous (or rather - infamous) Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl! And if you have no frickin' idea who the hell Chuck Bass is, then I think it's about time you climbed out from underneath that rock of yours and go turn on the TV.
I always had my eye on the iPhone. I even went as far as to 'reserve' an iPhone from Starhub the moment I found out that they were gonna be bringing it in to Singapore. But then Chuck just swept me off my feet and I was madly in love.
I've never really liked touch-screen phones. For some reason, my clumsy fingers don't work well with touch-screen phones and I always end up typing nonsensical crap while texting. So I guess the iPhone was never for me anyway. I still enjoy pressing physical buttons. It makes texting all the more satisfying, imho.
But still, I have nothing against the iPhone. I think it is no doubt an extremely clever piece of technology. I still like it. After all, I've always been an vivid Apple supporter, ever since I owned my first Mac Powerbook G4 about 4 years ago.
However, Chuck is on a whole new level of awesomeness. So far, I'm loving every aspect of it - from the cool free applications, easy-to-use navigations etc. I guess the only beef I have with it is its physical appearance (which I guess is an irony, since the real Chuck Bass is as gorgeous as a Greek God). Unlike the iPhone, the Blackberry is ugly as hell. Why? I don't understand. Why can't they make it more physically attractive? If they can't change the anatomy of the product, at least, I don't know, have it in more colours?
Regardless, I'm gonna go shopping and buy Chuck a whole new wardrobe. He deserves to have nice 'clothes'. I'm not gonna let Chuck live the rest of his life in a sorry shade of black.
*****************  I know that due to the stuff I post on this blog, people who don't know me think I'm some messed-up emo girl. In fact, I'm sure even the people who do know me thinks that way. And I just wanna take this time to let you all know that I'm really not as depressed as this blog makes me out to be. I'm actually pretty happy most of the time. Sometimes during the course of the day, I have little relapses and miss certain people that used to be in my life. Or maybe situations happen that makes me a little sad. And whenever I feel that way, I tend to express it by posting little things here and there on this Xanga. It's moments like these that, I guess, I am kinda depressed. But when I'm not posting emo stuff on this blog, which is like 99% of my day, I'm actually pretty happy. So for those people who think that I need to 'move on' in order to be 'happy' or whatnots - really, I am happy as it is. I'm happy with my life and the way everything turned out. I mean, sure, my life could have been better, much better, but as compared to many others, who am I to complain right? I'm doing my definite best to cope with everything that happened and with all that I've faced. This blog may make me seem like such an emotional wreck, but if you're a friend, or if you've seen me in real life, you should know what kind of a person I am, and I'm sure you'll know I'm sure as hell not depressed. And yeah, I have boy-issues, and maybe I have a boy I can't get over. And for those who judge me because of it, I think it's because you forgot how it feels like to fall out of love. But either ways, so what if I have boy-issues anyway? Which girl doesn't? Look, whatever boy-related issues that I possess has not stood in the way of my daily life. I'm not lying on the floor somewhere in a pool of my own tears/blood, unable to function. I still go to school. I do my work well. I have a social life. I live well. I eat well. I'm happy. So there's this boy that I miss, but contrary to what many people think, I'm not putting my life on hold for him. I'm not that stupid. And I have the right to miss someone who has been a somewhat big part of my life. I don't have an emotional switch to just turn my feelings on and off. So, I have the right to miss him. However, all my reminiscing does not display my inability to 'move on'. And I think the reason why I'm 'emotionally unavailable' is cause I just haven't found the right guy yet. And when I do, trust me, I'll give him more than enough. This little rant is not directed at anyone or any particular incident. I just felt like I have to make this clear. I'm not gonna stop posting my little emo songs and whatnots. But I hope people will not use all that and think I'm a messed up freak. We all have different ways of expressng emotions, and this is just my way. When I'm happy, I do silly things like laugh at every small thing or just bounce around the room. But when I'm upset, I like to jot it down in words. So what you read here is just a small portion of my emotions. I'm happy most of the time - and that's all everyone needs to know for now. ******************  I hate people who try to break my best friend and I apart. You won't succeed though.
My best friend and I have been through way worse shit when we were kids. There were always other jealous girls trying to turn us into enemies. And they managed to. But I guess best friends will always be best friends. And now that we're tighter than ever, we know better.
So to all you haters out there trying to rip us apart: SUCK IT!
| | |
|  Excerpt from It's Just a Date by Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt.Chapter 7 - Principle #6: Doormats finish last and end up in the dirt (Setting up some standards and losing the deal breakers)"The Big Difference Between Standards and Deal breakers
There's a difference between having standards and having deal breakers when dating, though many think they are the same thing. Having standards is completely different. "How?" We're glad you asked.
- Standards are about how YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE, where Deal Breakers are about how YOU VIEW THEIRS.
- Standards are you living your life at a higher level and only accepting things that strive for excellence - it's living a life of quality choices and high self-worth.
- Deal Breakers are QUANTIFYING another person's assets or attributes to validate your worth.
- Standards are not about hair colour or record collections, height or financial worth. They are about tolerable behaviours, about the kind of relationship you want to be in and the way you want to be treated.
- Standards are you walking the walk. Deal Breakers are you talking the talk.
Standards are defined as a level of quality or excellence that is accepted as the norm are by which actual attainments are judged. It's about how you live. Having a set list of personal Deal Breakers seems like a surefire way to save you from winding up in a bum relationship. However, the truth is that most of these people end up being either eternally single or end up 'settling' for someone who they consider to be less than what they wanted in a mate. And how great for the person they 'settled' for - a relationship based on the thought that they, as a partner and a person, are better than nothing but still not as good as themselves. That must feel good for both parties. What a great story to tell your kids. The bottom line is that most Deal Breakers are unnecessary requirements that you've set yo validate you and really don't have much to do with the other person. If a relationship is good and worthwhile the things you want will work themselves out anyway.
Still confused about the difference? Maybe this will help...
- Standard: I don't date people that drink so excessively that it makes me uncomfortable.
- Deal Breaker: I don't date people that drink blue fruity drinks.
- Standard: I won't date men who constantly don't do what they day they're going to do.
- Deal Breaker: If he forgets to call me one time he's done.
- Standard: I won't date anyone who's emotionally unavailable.
- Deal Breaker: I won't date anyone less than six feet tall.
Get it now? Standards are a level by which you live - or in this case, specifically, date - and which you will not compromise on. "How is that not a Deal Breaker?" you ask. Because they are not about hair colour or record collections, height or financial worth, they are about tolerable behaviours, about the kind of relationship you want to be in and the way you want to be treated. Living with a set of standards tells the world "this is how I operate." Deal Breakers tell the world, "these are my requirements." People automatically assume that they already live by a solid set of standards and in truth they probably do... except when it comes to dating. For some reason when it comes to dating people compromise their standards in hopes that they will get something lasting in return. Don't you want your relationship to be of the highest quality? Shouldn't the person you share your live with and the relationship that you turn to in your best and worst times be of the highest standards?
Living and dating with standards means holding yourself and those around you to behaviour that honours a higher caliber of life (and we're not talking about material things)... it also weeds out the riff-raff so you really can't argue with us on this one. If you want a relationship with someone that honours and respects you and that you honour and respect, you must operate on a level worthy of such things. How do you do that? Well, let's think about it.
You will need to be...
- Someone that values himself or herself as much as they value the person they want to be with. ('Cause who's the awesome catch that wants to get saddled with 'Grabby can't let go' a needy partner that doesn't not feel worthy of them?)
- Someone who is considerate and generous but expects consideration and generosity in return. (As in I scratch your back and you run to market at 4am for a pint of Dulce le Leche.)
- Someone who is respectful and honest to others and accepts no less from others. (C'mon, this one's obvious right? It's not? Man, are you in trouble.)
- Someone who has a sense of purpose and attracts others who have purpose, not dead weight and co-dependents. (Coffee is for closers. See the movie Glengarry Glen Ross for more on this... or don't. Just find a person with a sense of purpose and you'll see what we mean. You will find them in the super successful winner department of your local grocery store.)
- Someone who surrounds themselves with excellence that honours their worth, be it a clean house, a well-groomed appearance or a coterie of good friends. (Did you notice we didn't say a jobless slob with a Barbie Doll head collection? Did we knock your socks off with the use of coterie?)
- Someone who elicits respect and doesn't endure those who aren't respectful, be it a date, a boss, a friends or a family member. (Doormats finish last and end up in the dirt. Sad but true - ask your doormat. By the way, if you have a doormat, you are a person who honours themselves.)
Think of what you stand for in life, what you represent in the world, how your friendship exist and what you want out of a relationship. Then know that the exceptions and excuses you make for people by lowering your standards will only bite you in the ass later. We know it from experience and we've got the bite marks to prove it."
| | |
|
I managed to get through 7 months in school without so much as a glimpse of you. I was so close to making it through university alive. And just a couple of weeks before I graduate, I had to see you.
And like a slap in the face and a kick in the chest, you walked pass me like you didn't even know I existed.
Like I was just any other girl on campus. Like as if we didn't once spend hours on the phone every night. Like as if we didn't once hold hands. Like as if we didn't once kiss. Like as if you didn't once take everything away from me. Like as if you never once told me that you loved me.
It made me re-evaluate everything I've believed in. Did we actually used to go out? Did we actually used to be in love? Or was it all just a figment of my imagination? Did I conjure everything up in my head simply because I wanted you so much from the moment I first laid eyes on you? Was it all just a mere mirage? Cause if what we had was indeed real, then how come you managed to turn me invisible with such ease?
Did I make it that easy for you to just walk in and out of my life?
I hate how you just cut me out of your life like that. You thought that going cold turkey would be the best for the both of us, I sure as hell hope you're right. I hate how you make me doubt myself. I hate how you don't even care about me anymore. I hate how you can't even make the effort to keep in touch or remain friends. I hate that you never call anymore. I hate that I'm still dreaming of you every night. I hate how I can't stop thinking about you. And you know what I hate the most? I hate that even after all that has happened, I don't hate you at all.
But hey, like I said before. As long as you're happy.
That's my only sense of comfort, and my only source of happiness these days - knowing that you made the right decision, and knowing that you're content. And even if you're not, I'm gonna pretend that you are.
My only hope is that one day, I'll be able to treat you with the same amount of nonchalance that you have treated me with.
It's sad when people you 'know' became people you 'knew'. When you can walk right past someone like they were never a big part of your life. How you used to be able to talk for hours, and how now, you can barely even look at them.
"Sometimes we tend to be in despair when the person we love leaves us. But the truth is - it’s not our loss, but theirs. For they left the only person who wouldn’t give up on them." - Sex and the City 
| | |
|
|
